Why don't we ask for what we need or want? I've done it. I still do it! But I'm practicing, and each time I ask for something I need, it gets a little bit easier. There are a myriad of reasons we don't ask for what we need/want:
I don't want to seem like a jerk/bitch.
I don't want to seem like a failure/loser.
I don't want to bother anyone.
I'm afraid I won't get what I want and then I'll feel worse than I do now.
They can't help me and then THEY'LL feel bad.
They'll get mad and leave me.
They'll find me undesirable and leave me.
The list goes on and on... Wow! Did you know there was that much going on behind a simple request?
Here's the problem: Most people don't know what you need until you ASK FOR IT.
I had a conversation with a coaching colleague and good friend Michael Miller today. He said that he overheard one of our mutual friends, Ellie Shepley say, "My business really started taking off when I started doing activities I enjoyed". What?! Yes! Of course! It's exactly what I talk about all the time AND YET, I had overlooked it once again
Do you have a secret dream life that you are too nervous to admit to anyone? Or do you just mention it as an aside to a few select people? Do people in your life tend to be more of the "realistic" persuasion? As in, "Being a rock star is unrealistic. Go study accounting".
I'm writing this post because, as a coach, people admit their secret dreams to me all the time. Sometimes they admit something close to their dream, but it's not their actual dream because they're still afraid to admit the full version to themselves. They say things like, "I'd love to be an actor, but I'm too old", or "I've been thinking about writing a book, but I don't have the time."